Paralysis of Will

Originally posted on Themestream
“Brain Lock”
“Emotional Paralysis”
“Mental Inertia”
“Paralysis of the Will”
People with ADD are not strangers to procrastination. There are numerous theories about why we procrastinate, why we put things off until the absolute last minute, mainly dealing with a need for excitement. What these theories don’t cover is if the problem is truly procrastination or paralysis.

Procrastination, as I understand it, is willfully delaying an action, being aware there is something that must be done, knowing the necessary steps, and choosing simply not to take them. Paralysis is the inability to take those steps.

I have procrastinated, certainly. All through college, I put homework assignments off until the absolute last minute because I knew they had to be done, but didn’t want to deal with it. I put off buying gas until the little gas light came on in my car, because I didn’t want to mess with it. Many utility and credit companies have made extra money from me because of late fees. These things happened not because I couldn’t perform the tasks, but because I chose not to.

My auto insurance company and phone company have also gotten extra money from me. Each overcharged me. I was aware of being overcharged, but I didn’t do anything about it. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t.

Paralysis seems to hit at the worst possible times. I procrastinate on changing my nail polish color. I am paralyzed when it comes to paying my bills. It’s not a matter of not having the funds or the means, I just can’t.
Paralysis is the inability to act.

Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo touched on this paralysis in their book, You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?

". . .failure to act at all-something like a paralysis of the will. The output function totally stops working. When this happens, the Adder may find himself in a frozen state, unable to take appropriate action. He may watch the softball whiz by as if he were a spectator instead of the player responsible for intercepting it. When it's time to answer someone's question, he may stand back feeling stupid, because he can't think of a response." (with thanks to Shef)

What brings this on?

Since there is a dearth of research on this paralysis, no one is quite sure as yet. Some feel it’s fear based. Certainly, someone being overwhelmed by life can become afraid, and freeze up. One person’s therapist noted that the symptoms were similar to those experienced by persons with PTSD, reinforcing the fear theory. For others, the fear comes after the paralysis. Perhaps it begins simply as procrastination, but gets put off so long, it becomes overwhelming, and then incapacitating. Still others see the neurological issue, a center in the brain that malfunctions. Until we know more, we can only guess how accurate each of these and other theories are.
How can you get over the paralysis?

I take medications for ADD, and they do help me in general. It does not, unfortunately, help me combat the paralysis. I’ve hired a coach to help me with my life in general. As many of us have been told, I didn’t think I had worked up to my potential, and I realized I needed assistance to do so. My coach and I meet weekly, via telephone, and we discuss the issues I have. This isn’t therapy, therapy handles the “why.” Coaching is more focused on the “how.”

For bills that must be paid, try online banking. Many allow users to create recurring payments for bills that are the same amount every time (rent, loans, etc.). Some companies offer electronic payments, activated either by a telephone call or an initial agreement with the company. If balancing a checkbook is a problem, many banks that offer online services include the option to download your statement into one of many financial management programs.

There are online reminder services that can send messages about changing the oil in the car, or getting to the little league game on time. The Watchminder, a large wristwatch, can be programmed to chime or vibrate at specific intervals, to help remind a person to do things.

Someone nagging me to do things does not help overcome this inertia. Having the benefits pointed out to me doesn’t work Being threatened with cancellation or disconnection or firing is not enough. Understanding that it isn’t unwillingness but inability, and finding someone else who also understands that and who provides support, does help. I can overcome the inertia with the right help.

I still get paralyzed, I still find myself unable to act. Knowing the problem is helping me find the solution.
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Learn More About It
Paralysis of the Will – Discussion on the ADD forum at About.
You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? – by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo